


Touching Me For Me

by pennisballs (orphan_account)



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:00:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2690387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/pennisballs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caboose just can't fall asleep, but with Church there with him, he thinks of something that might help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touching Me For Me

**Author's Note:**

> are you ready for 2000 words of garbage?
> 
> this was actually kind of based off of a text post i saw with church and tucker. so. oops.

"Ah, man," sighed Caboose, who finally took off his helmet after a long and tiring day. While nothing eventful had happened in yet another day of trying to solve the mysteries of Chorus, it still involved a lot of running and hiding and maybe shooting some people. And yeah, Caboose was definitely in better shape than almost everyone else on his team, but even he was worn out. "I want to take a nap now."

A familiar apparition appeared a few inches in front of Caboose, one he had become quite accustomed to recently. Church, who was currently residing in Caboose’s head until Carolina was fully healed, had come to remember just how much he hated being in his teammates’ head, although it wasn’t quite as bad as he remembered. “Yeah, you worked hard today, huh?”

"Yeah, people yelled at me." Caboose said, unfazed and beginning to peel off his armor for the night. "And my legs are wobbly."

Church watched as the blue soldier removed his chest piece. “You know, you probably shouldn’t…” He stopped himself from telling Caboose to keep his armor on. Just a glance at the guy’s face told Church how exhausted he was. Keeping it off for just a little bit wouldn’t hurt. Besides, he’s fucking awesome and could probably detect any enemies in time for Caboose to put it back on. Given that he didn’t have trouble putting it on, anyway.

Once in his underwear, Caboose plopped back onto some sheets they found in an abandoned town. For now, they were resting in an old shelter with a few small rooms, but first thing in the morning they were heading out again. It was a tiring schedule, but it had to be done if they wanted to save this planet and get the hell out.

The room was small - there was space for one or two people to comfortably fit but not much more. Given the soldier’s large and awkward body, Caboose got a room to himself, accompanied by Church.

Caboose was sprawled out on the floor, staring at the worn ceiling of the shelter. He closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep, but found himself opening them again. Usually sleep came upon him easily, but tonight he couldn’t seem to drift off at all. He sighed, and Church appeared in front of his face.

"What’s the matter, buddy? Can’t sleep?" He asked, causing Caboose to lazily smile at him.

"Ah, yeah, I feel tired, but I also don’t."

Church nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I remember that feeling. Used to happen to me— er, Alpha, I guess.” He flashed away momentarily and appeared again, sitting on Caboose’s shoulder. “I don’t really sleep anymore. It’s kinda hard to when you’re a fucking program. Plus I’m in your head, and it’s not exactly quiet in here.”

"Yeah, I hear you yelling a lot. And talking to yourself." Stated Caboose, his eyes still fixated on the ceiling.

"Wha—? I do not talk to myself!"

"Yes you do."

"Shut the fuck up." Church quickly changed the topic to avoid further argument with this guy. "By the way, why have you been looking at the ceiling for so long?"

"Oh, it helps me fall asleep. Sometimes." Caboose said, still not budging.

Would Church ever understand Caboose? He didn't think so. “What, there’s nothing else that helps you sleep? Counting sheep? Jerking off?”

The bigger man’s face slowly became puzzled. “…Huh. ‘Jerking off’… Church, what is that again?”

Church let out a sigh. “…Masturbating? Touching yourself?” He couldn't believe he was talking about this.

"Oh! Right! Yeah, well, I don’t really do that… Did you do that, Church? When you had a body?" Caboose finally turned his head towards the tiny figure on his shoulder.

"Uh… well, yeah." If Church were human, he’d be kind of embarrassed right now. But why? It’s not like Caboose gave a fuck.

"Ohh.." Caboose hummed like it was interesting to him. He then turned his head back to the ceiling, and sat in silence for a bit, as if he was pondering something. Church watched him curiously, wondering what he could be thinking about. …Honestly, he didn't really want to know.

But then Caboose shot up, face lit up and voice a little too loud for what time it was. “Church! I have an idea!”

Church appeared in front of him, waving his hands to try and calm the idiot down. “Shh! Be quiet, do you want those shit mercs to hear you from across the fucking planet?” Caboose quickly covered his mouth. “Thank you. God damn. Now, what is your ‘brilliant’ idea?”

"What if… you touched myself for me?" Caboose whispered excitedly, looking at Church like a happy puppy.

Again, that nonexistent feeling of embarrassment seemed to rise inside of Church, and he glanced away from Caboose, flustered. “What does that even.. Are you seriously asking me to jerk you off?! Didn't you just say that’s not your thing?”

Caboose tilted his head to one side, smiling as if none of what he was saying was fucking ridiculous. “Yeeees, but if Church did it, I think I would like it a lot more!”

"How am I even supposed to do that? I don’t have a body, remember?! I…" Church paused for a moment to regain himself. He glanced at Caboose, staring at him with big eyes, and thought himself to be crazy when he suddenly found this to be not a bad idea. Maybe it was Caboose’s mind having an impact on him, if that was possible, or maybe he just genuinely cared for the guy. But before he knew it, he was saying, "…Alright, fine. I’ll try and figure something out. Just, lie down, okay?"

With a happy squeal, Caboose lied back on the sheets, eagerly awaiting whatever Church was going to do.

Meanwhile, Church had entered Caboose’s head, trying to find a way to control his body, but not entirely. Just as he had thought, this was harder than it seemed. He was about to give up when he had one last idea. He appeared before Caboose again and projected himself to be life-sized. “Alright, I’m gonna try this. But hopefully I won’t get full control of you.” With a nod of approval from Caboose, Church went in.

At first, nothing happened. Caboose stayed still, waiting for some kind of sign from Church that he was there. He felt heavier, like something was weighing him down, and it was a strange but thrilling feeling.

Finally, he heard a voice in his head. “Okay, I’m here. I don’t know if this will work so… tell me if you feel this.”

Caboose felt a touch- no, more like pressure on his left arm. It was like a poke. Or a prod, whatever. “I felt that, Church.”

"Okay cool, so this should work. Uh… I've never done it this way before so it’s probably gonna be a little weird." said Church, who sounded a little nervous, if anything. "If you want me to stop, just tell me, okay?

Although he wasn't worried, Caboose nodded anyway, and soon felt fingers moving from his hips to his chest, though they weren't his own. He squirmed a bit, not yet used to the feeling, and sighed as more fingers were tracing along his collarbone and neck. His own hands lightly gripped the sheets as a chill ran through his body.

"Huh… Never knew your skin was so soft." Church spoke in a low voice, grazing a nonexistent finger over Caboose’s nipple, causing Caboose to bite his lips and roll his head to one side, trying to suppress any sounds. "This is nothing like the real deal, but it seems to be working for you." The amusement in Church’s voice wasn't even subtle.

As the touches drifted lower to his hips and abdomen, Caboose whimpered and slightly arched his back, letting Church’s name quietly escape his lips. Already he felt so good, just like he knew he would when Church touched him. His palms were getting sweaty and he was already getting hard.

Church slowly circled along Caboose’s hips and down to the inside of his thighs. “You really don’t do this a lot, do you? I mean, look at you…” His voice was almost a whisper and he pressed lightly against the bulge in Caboose’s pants. “Already horny as fuck.”

"Church—!" Caboose gasped, lifting his hips and quickly looking around him before realizing nobody was actually there.

"Yeah, I’m not there, buddy. Well, I am, but y’know. Not physically." He gently stroked Caboose’s cock through his underwear, earning more whines from him. "Kinda wish I was, though."

All of the talking and teasing was driving Caboose crazy, and he rocked his hips into Church’s touch and draped an arm across his sweating forehead. “P-Please.. _ah—_ Please, Church…”

But suddenly the touches stopped, and Caboose was left laying there for a few seconds with a deep red and panting face and hard cock. He was confused until Church spoke again. “…Okay. Take off your underwear. Then, I’m gonna try and take control of your hand. Is that okay?”

Caboose nodded again, more eagerly this time, and he lifted his hips to slip his underwear down to his knees, his swelling dick popping out and already leaking. He couldn't believe that Church had been able to reduce him to a puddle of pleasure, and the feeling honestly excited him.

Then, one of Caboose’s hands let go of the sheets and moved toward his cock, but it wasn’t him moving it. Church had only taken control of his right arm and hand, which, despite his hazy thoughts at the moment, made Caboose believe him to be a very talented AI if he could do that.

Fingers wrapped around Caboose’s shaft, and just the touch was enough to make him gasp and bite his lips again.

"You’re pretty sensitive, huh?" Church purred as he began pumping Caboose, slowly at first, and oh _god_ how he wanted at that very moment to have a body so he could embrace Caboose from behind and plant soft kisses on his neck. Maybe it was strange of him to think that way of Caboose, but right now he just didn't care. Church began jerking him off faster, enjoying every moan and breath from him.

"Ooh.. Oh, Church, please, do not stop..!" Caboose was writhing, his hips thrusting into Church’s— no, his own hand, his head thrown back and his eyes shut, trying to pretend that yes, it really was Church touching him. He would do this a thousand times more if it meant doing it with Church.

Church rubbed the head of Caboose’s cock with a thumb as he moved, sensing that Caboose wasn’t going to last much longer. He was frantically thrusting into his hand, moans growing louder and chest heaving. Church stimulated him further by running a ghostly hand across his chest and stroking his nipples.

"C-Church, I, ah… _ahh!_ " All it took was Church running his thumb over his slit before he went over the edge, back arching and hips grinding sharply into his hand as he rode out his orgasm with a scream of pleasure. Anyone awake right then would have definitely heard him, but it was the last thing on his mind.

Once things died down, Caboose had full control over himself again, and he glanced exhaustively down at the white mess glazed over his hand and abdomen. He didn't have any sanitary means of cleaning himself, so he wiped everything onto the sheets and pulled his pants up.

It wasn't until then that Church appeared before him, back in his tiny form. “You feel better now?” He asked as Caboose rolled onto his side, eyes fluttering shut.

"Yes… Thank you, Church…" Caboose replied, sleep coming to him much faster now.

"Yeah, whatever, just don’t expect me to do that ever again." Church stated, but honestly, he sure as hell wouldn't mind doing it again. Before retreating into Caboose’s head for the night, he whispered softly, "Good night, buddy."

And as he fell asleep, Caboose could have sworn he felt lips on his cheek.


End file.
